Get Yourself Tested

My wife and I own six cars.  Which is as absurd as it is awesome.  It’s awesome because they all run & drive, are registered, and capable of a long trip with almost no notice.  (This is pretty uncommon in the car enthusiast world, trust me.)  It’s absurd because there are stints every now and then where every damn one of them needs an oil change, brakes, or some other routine maintenance item and time is something I don’t have much of these days.  My garage is also packed tightly, and for a car nut, my toolbox is a barren wasteland with half functional drawers that I got for free.  While I have four nice, functional jack stands, I have no floor jack to get any car I own onto them.  This is agonizingly ironic and also, absurd. Notice any trends?  

All of this means I’m usually borrowing someones lift and tools for an hour to change my oil. But this is only after I found someone else to watch my two year old on my day off while I do it.  Earlier this summer was my wife’s Honda Accord Crosstour, a car I adore, needed it’s oil changed.  Next up, my 2010 Mercedes ML350 Blutec, needed it’s sooty, black lifeblood drained.  And just last week, the first car I ever owned, my 1989 Jeep Wrangler, needed it’s oil changed as well.   

I’ve owned my Wrangler for 25 years.  I learned how to drive a stick shift on it.  I learned how to back a trailer up with it.  I learned how to drive on a beach and not get stuck like an idiot in it.  I even managed to talk my dad into parking in the RMV parking lot while I took the road test for my license.  In a power move that I may never top, I walked out of the RMV with my brand new license, hopped in and drove home solo for the first time.  Needless to say, I plan on keeping this for another 25 years…at least!

Since most engine wear occurs on start up, and it sits a lot, and its carbureted engine usually needs to crank awhile to start, I’ve decided to have it’s oil analyzed every time I change it.  After receiving it’s latest report, I can safely say my Jeep’s engine is perfectly healthy.  This is despite 2,276 miles and 2,076 days elapsing since it’s last oil change.  I’m aware this seeming lack of maintenance sounds ludicrous, but folks that know far more than you and I about wear metals, flash points, and contaminants, assure me that I am doing no harm.       

One friend of mine used to own an F350 Super Duty with a 7.3L diesel and he insisted that it’s 3.75 gallons of engine oil needed to be changed every 3,000 miles. Yet, the heaviest load it ever pulled was a jet ski.  I assured him that the 3,000 miles/1-year rule was outdated and that the occasional towing of his jet ski to the lake was far from “heavy duty” use, but he heard none of it.  He sold that truck because it became a rust bucket, and those expensive oil changes did nothing to make that mighty Power Stroke’s life easier.       

The God’s honest truth is that if you’re not running your car on a race track, towing heavy loads, or doing anything stupid on a regular basis, you just need to use the correct viscosity oil and a decent oil filter in your car.  One of my cars actually had identical contaminant results on an oil analysis with a cheap, $2.99 oil filter as an OEM one from the dealership.  I wish it was more complex than that because this post would be way more nerdy and interesting to write.  

Follow your car’s owner’s manual.  The people who designed your car know more about it than you.  If you don’t trust them, trust the fine folks at Blackstone Labs.  For $25 they’ll test your oil and let you know if there’s anything to be alarmed about.  There probably won’t be, trust me.  Or don't...