Sold!

I’ve lost count of how many cars I’ve bought and sold over the years.  When I was in High School and College, it seemed like I was selling at least one per year.  I’d buy something, put some money into it, enjoy it for a bit, sell it for a profit, and then upgrade.  If you can call my three “fun” cars a collection, I’m very happy with it.  Short of a personal financial crisis, they’re all staying put and it’s been that way for close to 10 years now.  

Since I’m a bit rusty, when a co-worker asked me to help sell their car, I didn’t quite know where to start.  Luckily, they had a 2018 Toyota Camry LE with 29,000 miles…an easy sell!  I could have used my connections and sent it to an auction, but it probably wouldn’t net my co-worker the most money.  A late model Camry isn’t special enough for Bring a Trailer or Cars & Bids, so that left me one other choice…Facebook Marketplace. 

Now, the world is full of Toyota Camrys.  340,000 of them were sold in the US in 2018, so I knew that this one had to stand out in the vast sea of them for sale.  How?  By writing the funniest damn description I could and seeing if I could go viral. Maybe I'd get a bidding war going?

Looking for a car that screams “I have my life together” but also whispers “I still know how to have fun at Olive Garden on a Tuesday night.”? A car that will make your insurance agent smile when you give them the VIN? Well, you’ve come to the right corner of Facebook Marketplace.

This 2018 Toyota Camry LE has been single family owned since new and has only 28,900 miles. No, your insurance agent won’t charge you extra because it’s red, thats a myth. What isn’t a myth is how dependable Camrys like this are.

The car comes with both keys as well as WeatherTech mats for the front, rear, and trunk. In keeping with a Camry’s overall theme of safety and dependability, the car comes with hardwired front and rear dash cams and enough blind spot mirrors to see drivers in the next zip code.

What’s wrong with it? Someone keyed the passenger front door and rear fender. Why? They were jealous of the color of this outrageously dependable car. But let’s face it, this is an egoless car.

Not bad, right?  Don’t ask how many attempts it took to write it though.  

Within an hour, the half assed offers were flying in.  $8,500 cash…$10,800 if I can hold it a week…$11,000, but only if their spouse would let them…I knew this would be annoying.  Plus the car was now parked in my yard.  What is that saying about good deeds, again?

After a few days, a message came from a dealership, of all places.  But here was the crazy part, they didn’t really try to haggle.  They wanted me to upload pictures of certain angles to a link, and send them the VIN.  I finally felt like I was winning, but the process was taking dragging on because none of the paperwork was in my name.  Selling to a Joe Schmoe doesn’t require odometer statements, CarFax checks, or checking with sales managers.  I had the title with the signature of the owner on the back and both keys. Come and get it!  

The dealership needed more pictures…because of course.  While they mulled over the deal more messages rolled in.  One person just wanted to say how much they liked the ad, which was nice.  Did they share the ad with a friend?  Probably not.  Another person sent a garbled voice message along with a picture of an envelope of cash, claiming they were in my area with friends and would take the car right now.  This sounded awesome until I thought of of sixteen ways it could go bad, so I didn’t respond.  Which only resulted in more, increasingly sketchy, garbled voice messages. Since I didn't want to end up hogtied in the trunk of a Camry being shipped overseas, I had to buy the buyers in a sense.  

In all, I traded messages with 50 people about the car.  Annoying yes, but messing with lowball offers can be oddly satisfying.

Message: $9,000

Me:  I have an offer for $15,500 from a dealership on the table, I’m waiting on paperwork.  Meet it or beat it, and the car is yours.  

Message: $9,001

Me: How about $17,000?

*Crickets*

Eventually, the dealership came through and showed up to my co-worker's house with a check and a tow truck. In total, it probably took three weeks to get the car out of my life, which while annoying, isn't too bad.

Call it my good deed for 2025. Let's see what happens in 2026.